Cortando Pasto

So. There are times when I am down (not at this exact moment... but there are times). Wondering what I'm doing in life... not so much right now but in a year or two or ten from now. Where I wonder if I'm making good decisions or doing the right things. Sometimes I even feel like I have a dissonance inside of me - a disconnect - and it makes me wonder who I really am. Peruvian Peacecordian, what's that, really?

Usually when I'm in this state in site all I want to do is ball up in my room but I usually end up forcing myself outside because that's where I slowly feel better (even if not a single one of my self directed questions is actually answered). I've taken up going to cut grass for the cuyes (guinea pigs) with my madre lately in the evenings.

It's a 10 minute walk through grass and chacras (fields), the trail made by many human feet who take the trail up the hill to do their farming and grazing of animales cada dia. We take our apaches with us (the colorful blankets women here use for warmth, for bags, as protection to sit on, to carry grass, etc.) and my host mom brings along the circular scythe and we go up to cortar the pasto. This little ritual, even though I am slow at actually cutting the grass and most of the time just end up helping carrying it back down the hill, more than anything else... calms me. I know that for my family it's just another day chore, but for me with the views and the tranquility - the soft steady sound of blade on grass, the bright blue pollera (skirt) of my mama, the gray clouds bursting into light with the sinking of the sun over the cordillera negra - it's a healing task. It's the best thing about where I live, the hills and the very nature around you just make everything that much better. It's way better than yoga. jeje

So there's an October reflection. Mas on the agenda would have to be the Feria de Universidades that we're putting on in Shilla on Wednesday for all the secundary kids.... Amigos y Libros is still goin' strong, Halloween is just around the rincon, and I'm a goin' to Colorado really soon! :) From mountains to mountains.

Abrazos y pasto para todos,

Emily

My Name is the Amazon River. And I'm BIG and AMAZING.

Hola a todos!

I just got back from the selva (the jungle.... the Amazon to be exact) and racing 180 kilometers (don't ask me to convert that) for three days down the Amazon river in a raft that I built with three fellow peacecordian chicas from Ancash (ANCASH LADIES DO IT BETTER!) There are so many stories, funny moments, desperate moments, people met, that I don't even know where to begin. I guess I will start with what hit me first.

The HEAT. Calor to the extreme. I mean, I realized going into this that I would be dealing with a rain forest.. a jungle... and that means humidity and omnipresent sun... but I definitely didn't realize HOW much that would affect me until I got there. The heat consumes you and there is no escape. Your pores feel as if they are pouring out sweat like sap seeps from the bark of gum trees. Sweat takes the form of tears... I drink so much water and it all would come pouring out of me. Under the cover of the Amazonian rainforest and its myriad of trees and plants was where the heat licked your body the most. We went on a trek the day before the raft race which included hacking thru the Amazon with a machete and looking for monkeys, birds, weird bugs and spiders and that's where I felt I was being cooked the most. And unlike the cold, where you can put layers and layers of clothes, mittens, wool socks, find some good blankets, make a fire and drink cocoa... there is nothing you can do besides melt in the humidity in the jungle. It made me appreciate my mountains that much more.

On that day trek we got to take a 2 hour boat ride as well, which means we visited some local villages (how crazy and awesome would it be to be stationed out there where you commuted with a little boat?), held a baby sloth, and saw gray and PINK dolphins! Then we were off on the great (gret.. hehe Colleen) journey down the Amazon River for three days!

The first day is meeting the other 47 teams... getting on a bus and going from Iquitos to Nauta. Once in Nauta we procured much needed supplies (some machetes, rope, a hammer, two young boys who know how to make a raft...) and then crossed the river to start building our home for three days. :) Naturally, us peacecordians had no clue where to start. Every team was given 8 balsa logs and three smaller strips of wood and 30 meters of rope and some nails. We then had from 3 p.m. till the next day to construct the thing. With the help of the boys and a chainsaw we macheted and constructed a ghetto looking thing before sunset. We had no idea if it would hold up on us. But we were content with having finished before any other team did (actually I was worried that we hadn't spent enough time on the thing.. thinking it would surely come apart by day 3)... and it floated! That's a good sign.

The entire thing was a camping trip. The people who organize this Longest Raft Race in the World are VERY well organized, the food is good, the staff friendly.. they gave us little mattress things every night to sleep on (nobody needs a sleeping bag... it's too hot) and two of the three nights we slept in schools! :) There were bugs but not nearly as many as I though there would be and actually I came away pretty much unscathed except for 10 blisters from rowing (having done crew in college did come in handy!), some bad sun burns on the ankles, and ten cold sores on the lips (heat induced I'm sure). And you know what? We did it! Us four girls came about in the middle of the pack every day and our ghetto boat was the little raft that could! We even had the clunky heavy oars and the shoulders and back were definitely sore for a day.

For me, the best parts of the experience would have to be my team Ancash Ladies Do it Better (we were constantly singing on the top of our lungs... RESPECT... I'm on a BOAT.... build me up Buttercup... Bohemian Rhapsody... the Spice Girls.. as well as the "gotta along without you before I met you" harmonizing jingle... just to name a few of the tunes), getting into fast currents (and when I say fast currents I mean faster than when we were basically moving nowhere when we felt like we were sitting in a lake), and jumping into the river whenever we felt like it. Awww... that water felt so good. I mean. It was dirty. But it FELT so good. Other highlights would have to include the finishes each day (except for the LAST day when the last part we had to row UP current for fifteen minutes)... the first two days endings were happy because the local kids were swimming with us helping push our boats into shore, everybody cheers, and you just feel so STRONG for doing it and eating oreos and other goodies when we got tired. Also, the other rafters on the river with us were amazing and fun... we spent most of our river time with not our fellow peacecordian boats, but some men from France who were hilarious and some Limenos who pirated our ship. :)

The Amazon River is SO big... and wide... and we had to cross it a BILLION times. Well, it felt like it. :) It was amazing and I'll never feel as badass as I did when I was doing it... until next year of course!

So long Amazon! Hasta la proxima

Abrazos Fuertes,

Em

Candela, Candado; Tomatoe, Tomahto

Hola a todos!

As a whole, I feel pretty well integrated in Shilla. It has been over a year.. everybody knows me, the kids yell out my name, I understand more Quechua, and less and less Shillapinos think that I'm Italian and work in the church... there are days I forget that I'm too tall even (until I hit my head on a door whose frame comes up to my shoulders... have I mentioned I live in hobbit land? Ask my dad).

But recently, after a bout of feeling too self assured, my host mom and sister informed me that I'm telling too much to the neighbors. Now, I thought I was just being friendly. If I'm walking up the hill and they ask me where I'm coming from I'll freely say "From Huaraz! And this package I'm carrying? My parents sent it to me from the States!" or que ever. At first when my host familia told me that I just need to say hello and go on my way, I thought. huh. NO. I don't see any harm in it and I'm promoting friendship and connection between families. But then I realized if I just keep doing what I want that's not integration at all.... and then it dawned on me. I wash my clothes a lot longer than it takes my 14 year old sister. At meal times, I'm still served first and am encouraged to "descansar" (rest) frequently although my mom and sister are CONSTANTLY moving, cleaning, workin' in the biohuerto, taking the chanchos (pigs) and burro (his name is Ramon) to pasture... I have a completely different role. Since I have to make lesson plans, keep track of assistance, write oficios and solicitudes, etc. I use my computer a lot! And since my mom can't read, when she watches me on this thing, what does she see? What does she think? It probably looks like I'm busy doing a whole lot of nothing. And when I do help in the chacra on occasion, I'm so slow that I'm not even a help!

Just yesterday on the phone, a fellow Ancashina volunteer and amiga said "we're awkward all the time". And it's so true. Whether it's our gringo accents when we are trying to get the universities to come up and do a University Fair, to planting corn seeds double the time it takes our host moms, we will always be just slightly out of it. And what usually results from that is that we end up thinking that THEY'RE slightly out of it. Vicious circle.

But there is good that comes out of all the awkwardness/never truly fitting in: Funny stories. For instance, just recently I had a spanish language confusion problem (sheesh. You think after 10 years of this language I would be able to manejar it all). I told my host sis Florcita that I needed a key to unlock candela (which I thought meant padlock).

She was like "Really? There's a candela by that door?"

Me - "SI Florcita. De verdad!"

Florcita- looks at me confused

Later. I find out that in fact "candela" means fire. Then how the heck do you say padlock?

Florcita - Laughing uncontrollably

Mama - "Candado, Emy. Candado"

They still don't let that one go. And I guess it's the laughing and connecting to a joke and the silly things that we do that binds me to them more than anything else. No matter if I'm too tall for the doors.

Abrazos,

Em

Lame-a

Hola a Todos!

Just recently I came back from five days in Lima for medical checkups and meetings and the like. Our whole group comes back and we give little presentations about what we've done in our sites... and basically eat really good food and get to hang out between all of our random appointments around Lima. (or Lame - a as some people call it :) During my trip there I took advantage and went to go visit my Itzel (my little host niece who lived with me for a year and then just a month ago her mom and her left to live and work in Lima) because I miss her sooooo much. And though amazing to see her, to sing Happy Talk with her again, to read her books like No David No!, and head butt game :) Gladys and I (her mom) basically were just sad that the visit was so short and that I couldn't take them with me back to beautiful Shilla. It struck me hard when I saw them on a gray cold corner of Lima with their jeans and "modern clothes" when I was so used to running up to them after going to work at the colegio with a background of dirt roads and mountains and adobe houses with their polleras and skirts on, Itzel dirty from playing outdoors all day. And Itzel had never seen me in Lima. At first I think she thought I was a different person.

I know I know I know. I'm selfish for wanting them back. Gladys left to go earn some money (which is nearly impossible to find in Ancash because of her lack of education and her young 4 year old daughter to take care of... in Shilla my family lives off the meager selling of products like corn and potatoes... and the help of some NGOs... it doesn't bring in much and in Shilla, to just sustain and live, you don't need much) and she's looking for something more... her boyfriend's studying in Lima, etc. etc. She's making a better life for herself. I realize this in my rational head and support her. But they are not happy away from my host madre, away in a world so different than the mountains of Ancash. I imagine there is more of a shock between any campo place in Peru and Lima than for me to go from Peru to the U.S. It's Lima vs. the rest of Peru and Lima's winning. It's a city full of souls working, studying, waiting for their chance. Save money. Make a better life. Normally with the idea that they'll return to where they are originally from. But it usually doesn't happen. They stay in the gray ciudad. They continue working and studying and hardly sleeping for many many years and then become used to it. And I don't want that to happen to Gladys.. Especially not Itzel.

So, life can be hard for Peruvians when moving away from home. Moving away means going to the coast because the coast holds more opportunities. To make it that much harder, the families here are a lot more close knit as you can imagine. To leave your parents and siblings is not the same as in the States (although I'm not saying there's some difficulty there for us too, but). It's leaving your vida. It hurts my host madre on a whole new level. She told me she would cry when I leave too. It's going to be painful to leave here.

Yeah, so although on a cold note, those are my thoughts. I'm so grateful that I received the host familia that I have. That I had the chance to meet Raul. That I have such great Peacecordian friends who are always there to cheer and support you even after the hour and a half dentist appointment because you had 2 cavities and that was even after the nurse STABBED you (yes.. haha) while drawing blood. Boy I hate medical stuff. So there is always good in my Peruvian life which makes the hard stuff worth persevering through.

Abrazos,

Em

Refleccion

Hola a todos!

So. Today is Peru 13's official one year anniversary as PC volunteers! Yay. So it's automatically a day of reflection whether you want it or not. :) A year ago was a whirlwind. Leaving Yanacoto, nervous about starting the next two years, leaving friends who I met just three short months before but felt like I'd known them for much longer than that; confusion, excitement, twinge of sadness... gulp. And then now it's been a year. And so many volunteers told our group as we became official volunteers instead of just aspirantes.. the second year will be better and go by faster which means before I know it, it will be August 21, 2011.

For the occasion that is today I decided to just make a short list of the most memorable moments of this year for me as a Shillapina and Ancashina... the good and the bad... and probably the ugly:

Running from an avalanche and thinking I was going to die for a split second

Meeting Raul

Making it to Punto Union with Christie and Oso, after a local boy beat us in sandals to the top

Birthday in Lima with the Peru 11ers as their In Service Training complete with face in the cake

Itzel leaving permanently to Lima with her mom :(

Anca$h Prom

Learning to rock climb (this would be in the "ugly" category)

Hanging out with Rachel and Jenna in Maryknoll's Priest home in Puno, playing with a stuffed bear's glasses and not knowing to whom they belonged.... for awhile.

Making videos on the way up to Machu Picchu with the hermano :)

Seeing my dad try to get through the front door of my house... and in and and out of combis

My confusing "candela" for "candado" (my host mom find this infinitely funny)

Field Trip to Llanganuco with Environmental Club Kids; Yunior made sure I noticed every little plant and animal and insect on our little hike

The 3 Independent Nights of Illness. I do not need to elaborate. It's in the Ugly category

Being a ship for Halloween. (Where's my BOOTY, Lisette?)

A Yanacoto Birthday complete with Lion Cake

Eating just the cookie dough with Baja in Caraz. Memorable for sure.

My combi almost being rammed off the road

Same day as above comment: Hitting the water tube to the school bathroom.... all in order to try and make compost.

15 hour Epic Hike

Carnival!

My first Peruvian wedding

Hot shower after two weeks.. (yup. I still remember it)

And there are many more. Some that I can't or won't even include on such a public space. So I can only imagine the millions of goods, bads, and uglies that will occur over the next year.. which will include maybe even a trip or two back to the States... :)

Abrazos,

Em

Un poco, no mas

Hola a todos!

Currently, I'm very contenta because the padres' care package just arrived with clothes for Itzel, Raisin Bran Crunch, stickers galore, cheeze its, a book from Vivian, and more children's books! It just makes me feliz. :)

En otras noticias, the 15ers (new peacecordians) are coming this next week to visit their sites, projects continue to keep going during these vacaciones (the first two weeks of Agosto there are no classes aqui), and Wednesday's trip to Llanganuco Lakes with the kids from Club Huascaran went swimmingly! yay. Umm.. things are good, I have deseos to go up into the mountains again soon and see some more Ancash lakes before the rainy season starts again in late September. And besides all that things are just going well.

Almost a year in site! I bet this next year will go by just as quickly as the first one and before I know it Christmas and a trip home will be here!

Abrazos fuertes,

Em

"Emily! Han chocado con el tubo!"

Hola a todos!

So. Last Friday I feel sums up how things tend to go in the work side of my life as a Peacecordian. I had classes about self esteem which went well with the little guys in elementary school, had a successful Amigos y Libros meeting with the teens (they're the ones who will eventually read to the elementary and preschool kids) And everything seemed to be going swimmingly after meetings about our upcoming project against AIDS/HIV and meetings with teachers about finding professionals for a job shadowing project in September... and I was looking forward to digging a hole in the evening to make compost with the Club Huascaran (made of sixth and fifth graders from primaria who are learning about the environment with me). The parents of the kids even showed up early with their tools all ready to go! Yay! I felt. I'm doing things! :)

Amigos y Libros Club: (Notice the books that people have been sending me! :)

And then.. 50 minutes into digging the hole, Samuel comes up to me... "Emily! Han chocado el tubo!" Which means. CRAP. We broke the water tube to the school! Ugh. Here I was riding on this rush of volunteerism and happiness to be with the kids and parents in the school when the tube breaks. I immediately thought "I'm making Shilla regress instead of progress." So I got an impromtu lesson on how to pick out, buy and fix a broken water tube. Fun times.

The Day of the Tube: parents and kids from Club Huascaran

Trash Day with Club Huascaran! This is where Shilla botars their trash we found out after 4 hours of collecting all the trash of the district with Cesar, the municipality driver of the truck in the background. As the kids pointed out it smells a bit... but has great views!

I guess why this little story represents my work here is because.. it's all small steps. It's about getting people together and working towards a goal, however small. Although we broke the tube... there will be MANY setbacks. We fixed it and will continue. I will remember this hopefully this upcoming Wednesday when I embark on a day long journey with Club Huascaran to the Llanganuco Lake for a paseo (field trip). Who knows when I'll have to fix a tube again!